Blank
by Lord Pikachu
Summary: Ah, the cliché, villains joining up plot line; an eye roll inducing type of article that nobody cares to read - for they know that they are all written by silly 8 year-olds. But perhaps, when an overarching, separate story involving a benevolent plotting sorcerer graces the tale, maybe, just maybe, the audience can find it in their hearts to read and review.
1. The Master

_ I wrote this six months ago, wasn't satisfied, and left it for dead. I came across it a few days ago, edited it severely, and well... here you go._

_Enjoy!_

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**Chapter 1: The Master**

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A lone sorcerer walked slowly down a long, dark corridor - a half-hearted, uneven beat graced his pace. The inconsistent patting of his leather sandals on the dirty stone flooring echoed softly as he trudged along sluggishly; moaning and groaning in a loud, obnoxious manner about how tough his life was:

"Putrid, infernal mail-calls!" he yelled whilst waving his arms angrily and stamping his foot. He indignantly brushed a stray strand of his lavender hair out of his face. "Of all the days for the mail to be brought the this unholy corner of the world; it had to be the day when I came! Huh! The gods conspire against me; that's what it is!"

He walked further and further down through the dim passage as he griped continually, clutching a sealed letter in his hand quite tightly. In fact, he gripped the paper so indomitably, his knuckles were white as the snow that was falling that moment in the Overworld miles and miles above him. (It was winter for those unable to guess.) This rather staunch clench would often make one who happened to look toward this figure and the way he held the folded document in his hand jokingly state that his life must have depended on the safe delivery of the item; and actually - as cliché as it sounded - it did; much to the suprise of the joker probably.

"...Though actually... now that I think about it... I wonder what it is..." The sorcerer mused as he made his way closer to the end of the hall. "It's not often a letter arrives for the Master. Not often at all... Though that's entirely believable... who would send him mail? His mother? Ha!" These ponderous and silly thoughts alike danced around in the head of the sorcerer as he ambled along. "I'm still not sure why I'm stuck delivering it though... those spineless Moblins... They're worth more dead than alive... at least when they're dead you can sell their hides for a quick rupee... Get some leather made; support the economy..." A replay of the events that led to his current position in the lower tunnels flashed through the mind of the sorcerer; the arrival of the Postman; the cowering and arguing Moblins; and then the spears poking into his back that prodded him into the black portal. "But when they're alive... all they suceed at doing is consuming meat... And when it comes to matters of bravery and honor, they hide in the corner like children and pass the work off to others..." He'd get those Moblins for this... he would. Because unlike those pithless cretins, he didn't believe for a second The Master would murder him upon receiving his mail.

If it was good news anyway.

The sorcerer continued on in silence after this for awhile, lazily studying the dull, rock, torchlit walls as he plodded along. He eventually encountered something that piqued his interest.

"Hey, what's this?" He had come up to an engraving on the stone barricade. Curious, he took a pale hand, and wiped away the screen of dust that the etching had collected, revealing a rather barbarous scene consisting of what appeared to be a small ensemble of horrific-looking demons, dragging a hapless victim into the agape and blood-dribbling mouth of some type of hairy behemoth. This picture, however grotesque, undoubtedly spoke verity about the place it was most likely describing.

"Humph... not that far from the truth..." the sorcerer stated dryly, gazing around the slimy and putrid corridor with much disdain. He sighed as he walked away from the engraving.

"What a boorish place..." he muttered, shoving his free hand into one of his purple cloak's many pockets. The way to his master's chamber was, in his mind, unnecessary long and bleak, there being nothing remotely pretty to take his mind off of this long stroll he was unaccustomed to taking. He disliked exercise with a passion, and thankfully didn't normally didn't have walk anywhere; he could teleport instead - he was a magician after all.

But all magic, sorcery, incantations, etc. in the city whose underpart he was currently traversing was blocked by a countering spell The Master himself had conjured, so he unfortunately couldn't just warp himself in to wherever he was. So that's why he was here, walking down a seemingly endless corridor, reduced to a common delivery-boy. This didn't mix well with his overabundant ego, and made him feel quite indignant inside.

"I cannot simply bring myself to believe such an inconceivable fact that I, Vaati the Great Wind Mage, have been forced to deliver a letter to The Master, just because some potent monsters are too feeble and cowardly to do it themselves! It is, in short, disgusting!" The sorcerer continued on, boiling in his angry thoughts. Though after a while, his umbrage grew too great to be toted around, so he stopped his trek to scream up towards the roof in a fury.

"I am not some ordinary postman!" he screeched, stamping the ground with his foot, "I am the demon sorcerer who rules the skies!" He started making gestures so wide that any person would have thought he was quite mad if they saw him. "I have subjects, counselors, bodyguards, and the largest library in the history of the universe! This is more degrading for someone of my social and economic caliber than cleaning a bathroom with my personal hygiene items! How dare I be subject to such unfathomable treatment! I vow to make all you atrocious villains who forced me down into this hellhole suffer appropriately for your crimes with slow, agonizing deaths!" Vaati, now identified, listened to his ferocious words echo through the tunnel as he seethed in silence. After catching his breath, he looked toward the rafters of the gross corridor, seeing that nothing but the common Kesee and a few rats had heard his passionate outburst. He sighed miserably and stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth to end his self-righteous spiel. "_Ugh_..."

After several more minutes of marching about unenthusiastically, Vaati finally came to his "desired" destination. Despite the fact that it was only a stroll taking about ten minutes of his time, the sorcerer hunched over and panted a minute, resting his hands on his knees and gasping here and there for more air.

"I _really_ need to get into shape..."

When he was done, Vaati stared up at the large, black metal doors that loomed before him, and brought his hand to the bright silver knocker in the shape of a pig's head. He cocked an eyebrow when he saw it, and wondered about his master's choice of accessories. He then shrugged, figuring it was no worse than anything else in the unrefined location, and lifted the knocker, clanging it against the door three times:

_Knock!_

_Knock!_

_Knock!_

The banging of the object against the steel reverberated throughout the tunnel for a few seconds, then was replaced with an erie silence. After a second or two of waiting, a loud, powerful rumbling shook the entire passage, knocking Vaati off his feet instantly. He fell onto his back and into the stone floor, where it was certain- well, more like _Vaati_ was certain, that more than a few bones cracked from the impact.

"Ow!" he screamed, and then banging his fists on the ground with rage, shouted, "what's the deal with the earthquake?! ...Huh?"

After the rumbling had settled, a good distance away, from one the hall's many, many deep shadows, an echoing noise sounded throughout the cavern, it sounded like a heavy chain falling to the floor and shattering.

Vaati was almost able to _feel_ the shards scatter across the stone. He knew that some enchantment had just been broken; he'd had experience with this type of thing. Despite a great feeling of fear suddenly washing over him, the sorcerer dared not move a muscle.

A few seconds later, two tall, dark figures lumbered out from where the sound of the chain had sourced and marched toward Vaati. Double-edged, monstrously large battle-axes were held in their colossal, gauntleted hands. Their shiny bronze armor rattled with every step they took, the sound getting nearer and nearer as approached the sorcerer. They leered out from their spiky helmets at him with glowing red eyes that simply screamed "bloodlust".

"N-No way... Iron Knuckles..." Vaati's lower lip quivered as stuttered the words, and he felt his right eye twitch involuntarily. He quickly leaped from his spot on the ground in a panic; deciding the overly-long, self-pity speech he had prepared could wait for a while. He rushed toward the big black doors and slammed his fists repeatedly into them, screeching, "MASTER! MASTER IT'S ME, VAATI! MASTER? MASTER! I COME IN PEACE MASTER! MASTER!" All the while the Iron Knuckles came closer and closer to where Vaati stood, their footsteps actually created small indents in the worn stone floor as they stomped.

"**MASTER**!" Vaati screamed for the umpteenth time. Upon still hearing no response, he knew as he turned and backed himself against the door he would have to kill the assailing monsters himself, or die in the process of the attempt. Of course, since he had absolutely squat in the way of weaponry - being without a wand, sword, or even a dagger - the latter option was more likely to become reality than the former. He began to sweat profusely, and started to curse his master out to take his mind off the impending doom. "Grrr... would it kill that bastard to have some sort of security check or something before sicking monsters of this strength on someone?" Vaati hissed. "I shouldn't have to die because he has what must be extreme paranoia! Iron Knuckles; the world's _stupidest_ alarm system!

The Iron Knuckles, despite their dire slowness, were much too close for comfort to Vaati now, only five yards were between the two of them and he, and Vaati had nowhere to run to when that short distance was closed by the Iron Knuckles - as he was already backed up against the door and helpless, one cut from either axe was enough to split him clean down the middle.

Vaati sniffled, "I wonder how I'll look cut in half," he thought aloud, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "I should have the worn my black cloak today... black is so much more appropriate for a tragic death than indigo." He regarded the cloak he wore round himself with distaste. "This will never work for a painful, agonizing eradication... _Oh_, how abject!" He dramatically put a hand to his forehead. "_Oh_, how disconsolate! _Oh_, how despondent! _Oh_, how-"

"_Desist_!" Rang out a deep, powerful voice from the depths of the corridor, shaking the hall almost as hard as the tremor from earlier. Vaati, despite being quite startled, managed to keep a foothold by grabbing one of the pig knockers, but the Iron Knuckles, upon hearing the sound, stopped their tread and started to writhe in what seemed to be agony.

"Wha-" Was all Vaati could whimper before he was frozen in his movements by the huge amounts of magical energy that had begun to encircle him. He was suddenly rendered even more powerless than he had been before, and felt suffocated by the raw power that had formatted in a strange aura about him. _What is this?!_

Though it should be noted that while Vaati was burdened unbearable discomfort due to the force that had him trapped in its seemingly air-tight clutches, he wasn't actually feeling any real physical _pain_. All his appendages were in place, and though the grip he was caught in was tight, it was not crushing. This a seemed rather lucky on his part, because the Iron Knuckles who had been about to maul him beyond repair only seconds before definitely were experiencing something much more than discomfort; they were being messily disassembled before Vaati's very eyes.

It was a disgusting and nightmare-inducing sight. The beasts contorted; their limbs inside the armor twisted and turned in repulsive fashions, falling to the ground after magically ripping apart from the rest them. Their eyes lost the former glow they had previously possessed - however erie - and turned to a lifeless black. Vaati, despite having his ears covered in fear, still heard the distinct sound of snapping necks. Blood dribbled through the empty, gaping holes where bones had onced interlocked. This was gore in its purest form.

The suffering of the Iron Knuckles though only lasted but a few brief seconds, as they almost immediately crumpled directly to the floor, where they lay dead. The dark, evil souls that had possessed the ancient armor making up the monsters soon were spirited away, to a spot where they would reincarnate into other creatures of darkness, leaving the collapsed empty bronze and Vaati alone in the dim, foreboding torchlight.

The energy that had before engulfed Vaati faded away, restoring him his movments. The first thing the sorcerer did was gulp, he worried that this event was simply a preceeding to another attack, and wondered if he was about to perish in the same repugnant way the Iron Knuckles had. "W-Who's there...?" he asked shakily, looking around him for where the voice that killed the monsters had come from.

The nearly forgotten ebony doors behind the sorcerer slowly opened, taking away Vaati's support. He fell again onto his back.

"_Oof_!" He grunted as his posterior once more met hard stone. He quickly jumped up and spun around to find himself now standing right on the threshold of a large room. This obviously surprised him, as he had thought just a second ago that he would never see anything marginally nice again.

After a slight look-see, Vaati found that the room was lavish, yet dark. Everything in the room spoke that same message, from the grey stone fireplace, to the gold framed, high quality leather chairs in the rooms corners, to the enormously sized crepuscular portraits hung over the walls. Everything somehow leaked a taste darkness - which Vaati quite enjoyed. Though he quickly though noticed something - or rather someone - who was much more important than any bit of the room's décor. He greeted his master calmly, despite his nerves still being jumpy from his encounter with the Iron Knuckles.

"Hello my lord," he bowed slightly, only as much to satisfy - as he spoke, "I hope you are doing exceptionally well today." These latter words were said quite mechanically and without much genuine concern. Vaati had come to the conclusion that it must have been his master who had killed the Iron Knuckles, and was no longer fearful; for he knew the man would never kill one of his own agents (in others words, Vaati,) without a purpose. It seemed now that Vaati now had opportunity to be annoyed, which he whole-heartedly took.

It seemed Vaati's master felt the same, for he grunted in response to the cool and apathetic greeting his noble had given. "Mm..." He reclined against the soft cushion of his high-backed chair. "I probably should apologize for the Iron Knuckles' assault upon you, Vaati," he said, but without much tactility, tapping the gloved fingers of one of his on a golden arm of his seat. "I wasn't present and was certainly not expecting a visit. ...Especially not a _unannounced_ one." There was much extra emphasis on the word "unannounced", presumptively to signify that it was actually not at all his fault Vaati was attacked.

In his head, Vaati scoffed and gritted his teeth, fully enraged that it was believed his fault he had nearly come to an untimely demise, when in his mind, there was no doubt he was through and through an innocent bystander, subject to annihilation without fair trial.

_The nerve!_

Of course, Vaati wasn't an idiot, and still knew the only safe option was a civil - and unfortunately for him - rather humbling reply, "Well, I suppose I must apologize for coming here unannounced, so I hope you accept my deepest atonement Master," he quickly added to this statement mentally:

_Though it's not like I wanted to come here in the first place..._

There was a moment of silence after this, as neither party felt much drive to start up any sort of small talk - each knew the other had no interest whatsoever in conversing with he.

Finally, Vaati's master broke the quiet. He leaned over his large desk and asked, "So, what did you come to see me about, Vaati? I know you wouldn't come here unless it was important; as you have that castle of yours to attend to."

Vaati snickered to himself as his master ended his sentence with a preposition.

_What an ignoramus!_

But the sorcerer didn't mention this little nit-picky grammatical error, and simply relayed the reason for his presence:

"Mm... I bring tidings of a _message,_ sir," he made air qoutes with his fingers as he spoke. He looked in front of him to the grand black desk that sat on the far end of the room, faintly illuminated by the roaring fire in the hearth behind it. It was the only light in the dark area, as there were no windows.

"Message, you say?" his master asked curiously, "what do you mean?"

"It's a letter for you sir," Vaati waved the paper around.

"Ah," the Master said, calmly looking away and going back to reading a book he'd been studying before Vaati had been present.

"Eh..." Vaati was confused, "uh, sir, don't you want to read it?" Vaati voiced his thoughts.

"Well how about you just recite it to me," Vaati's master suggested, "after all I'm quite sure that you know the contents by heart by now anyway." he raised an eyebrow and smirked at him - Vaati looked insulted.

"What, do you honestly believe I'd pry into my own master's business?" he asked in a shocked voice, placing a hand over his chest to emphasize.

The Master shot him a dry look; Vaati snorted.

"Look, it's sealed. I never opened it," he rolled his eyes and passed his master the envelope he had been holding to prove his point.

"Hmmm..." the Master studied the paper a few moments, turning it in his hands and looking at it intensely. After a moment, he suddenly narrowed his eyes and looked puzzled.

"Is there a problem, Master Ganondorf?" Vaati asked, cocking his head to the side.

The Master waited a bit before answering, still looking suspiciously at the letter. After awhile, he finally replied,

"...I think I have seen this somewhere before..."

"Uh, well I should think so," Vaati said shrugging, amused, "envelopes are in quite a common usage when it comes to mailing things like letters and su-"

"Not the envelope you idiot! The seal! The seal, halfwit!"

"_Ah_..." Vaati nodded, trying very hard not to say some very crude things in retort. Vaati was very civil in his reply - well, at least in his own opinion he was. "Well, try opening the letter, it may jog your memory of just where you saw the thing." Then looking away, he gnashed his teeth repeatedly.

"Don't be sarcastic with me." The Master glared at Vaati for his comment, though ripped off the top of the envelope regardless, pulling out a piece of paper. From the brief glimpse Vaati got of the document, he was able to discern it was certainly not written in Hylian, but something incomprehensible to him. The Master appeared to begin reading it, despite the foreign language in which it was written.

Vaati shifted from foot-to-foot anxiously, wondering when - if at all - his master would share the contents of the letter. After minutes of vehement waiting, and he was worried that he wouldn't get any answers unless he inquired, the sorcerer finally asked,

"Um... what does it say, Master Ganondorf?"

"..."

Quiet fell upon the room, and nothing was spoken for quite a bit.

"...Go and collect my father Vaati..." The Master suddenly commanded, disregarding Vaati's unanswered question.

"...Y-Your father sir?" the sorcerer echoed, "you mean-"

"Yes, my father; Demise, Demon Emperor! You heard me stooge! Now go! I expect you back promptly!"

"B-but sir, what could be so important in that letter that-"

**"Do not question me**!" the Master bellowed, actually _leaping_ to his feet and thrusting a gesture toward the doors behind his servant. The composed and proud demeanor that the man had always upheld suddenly seemed to have suddenly washed away, leaving a tense and hysteric disposition behind. "Go and gather him, and bring him here - I seek council with him! Vaati, I'll give you seven days to bring him to the castle! Take any longer, and it will be your neck severed! Understand?"

"Y-yes sir I'll go r-right away..." Vaati stuttered. "Just tell me where I might find the Lord Demise and I'll-"

"**GO!**" The Master screamed again, black lightning racing across the palms and fingertips of his hands as anger mixed with unerrvedeness and began to boil over.

"Yes sir!" Vaati squealed fearfully as he raced out of the office, the ebony doors magically shutting behind him.

_I need to get out of here!_

The sorcerer stopped running about halfway down the hall he had come in from. He leaned against one of the stone walls and wiped the sweat from his face as he cursed his master under his breath. "Rude scum! Not even bothering to grace me with an answer to a simple query before flinging me out! Why I should..." he trailed off, and his eyes shifted around the passage alertedly. What if someone had heard him? No one would think twice about reporting him bad-mouthing The Master. Vaati wasn't particually liked around here - or anywhere else for that matter - by the local guard. And after The Master's outburst... insulting him now just wouldn't be wise.

Vaati ranted a bit more, (this time quietly, to be on the safe side,) before calming himself down, and decided to focus on the subject of his mission.

"seven days," he reminded himself. "A week... One week to get that old man Lord Demise back here... Hmm... well... I heard a bit back that Demise was thinking of spending the winter in Rehten, so presumably he is currently staying with another noble there... So I suppose Rehten is my destination... Let's hope he didn't change his mind. I had better hurry if I want to get back here in time..."

So then Vaati began griping to himself about how if he had just decided to sit at home today, the Moblins would have chosen one among themselves for the delivery of the Master's letter, and he would have been spared the burden of this extremely cumbersome mission.

Though this wasn't the dominant thought in Vaati's mind as he started running again - that thought was a simple diversion to the real nagging contemplation of what, in that mysterious letter, could have made the Master become so shaken and worried?

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

_Author's Note: Wow... Vaati's more fun to write then I thought he would be... I'm looking forward to writing more chapters! And I hope you look forward to reading them... Oh yeah, and Ganondorf really only _considers_ Demise his parent. He's not actually his biological father; because that would require a whole additional fanfiction to work out. If you played Skyward Sword I think you'd likely understand the whole 'my hate will reincarnate' song and dance. Is that weird way to go about things?_

_Reviews are always appreciated! SO GIVE THEM!_


	2. Veran

_Author Note: You can't kill me! (Dodges axe) Uhh... Okay... Anyway, I caught a bad flu and was out for a couple of days... so this is more than a little late... Anyway, enjoy Vaati's next venture._

_3/24/13 EDIT: ERRORS! MUST! KILL! ERRORS!_

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**Chapter 2: Veran**

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Vaati ran and rushed as fast and furiously as his short little legs could manage up and up through the bleak corridor into the dim torchlight, not sparing a single second to glance where he'd been a been before; his current priority being to bring his person as far away from his atypical conference with his master as possible.

"No... time... to stop... No... time to... stop..." Vaati reminded himself through gasps of breath over and over again as he rushed through the hall fatigued, "One week... Only seven... days... or my... neck... And... since I like... my neck... I will... collect Demise... in seven... days... I... wi- GAH!" Vaati tripped on his sandal and began to tumble forward.

Time slowed down to a crawl for one long, strange moment as he fell, farther and farther toward the ground; and smashed his pale frontage into the cold stone flooring with a loud, resounding, _crack!_

_Crack!_

He lay there, face against rock, paralyzed a moment as brain took in and processed and analyzed the information of his fall, and the impact on his petite body. Then, after his mind had registered the injury, he got right up and walked away, taking the injury in the manliest and stoic fashion he could muster.

Well, that's what he'd tell you happened anyway. But as he's not the narrator, you will be informed that the chain of events actually went something more like:

"GRAAAGHHH!" Vaati screamed in pain and agony, scrambling to his feet and throwing his hands to his face to feel around his lacerated features; his hands touched upon a distinct amount of blood and dirt as they combed his face. "MY FAAACCEEE!" Vaati wailed, pulling at the bleeding skin in horror. "Ow..."

He decided after an appropriate amount of self-pity and pretentious bawling that he would have to see the extent of the damage, and if he possibly needed medical attention. So he shoved his hands into his cloak's pockets and groped for his vanity mirror.

"Comb... Mascara... Dental floss..." Vaati muttered the names of all the items he encountered as he rummaged through the things kept in the confines of his cape. "Q-tips... Cloth... Ah! Mirror!" After finding the sought object, he quickly stepped closer toward a torch to illuminate his face, and flipped the mirror open to study himself as he pushed a strand of hair out of his face. Then, looking in, he gasped and his eyes widened.

The person staring back through the glass was just grotesque; his dirty lavender hair underneath the purple cap he wore was frazzled, filthy, and out of uniform; his left eye was swollen - purple and bruised from slamming into something undoubtedly hard; his nose was swollen also, dribbling a steady trickle of blood to boot; and his lower lip was decisively split and also red with bodily fluid.

But the worst, most terrible thing of all about that creature staring out at Vaati from inside the mirror, was its mucky, bruised, and flustered complexion. It was certainly not the pale, handsome, silky smooth tone Vaati was used to seeing upon opening his mirror. It was different for the worse entirely.

"I-I'm... I'm..." Vaati quivered, "I'm..." he gulped, "I'm..." he struggled to get the words out, "I'm... I'm UGLY! WAAAHHH!" Vaati wailed again at the sight of himself and his... new "look".

"Why me? Why me? WHY ME?" Vaati threw up his arms and screamed towards the heavens, horrified at his appearance. He put his hands to his face again to perhaps cry and moan a moment, but then remembered his condition. "...Agh! Filthy!" He quickly drew them away, wiping them on his cloak to cleanse them, "Yuck, yuck yuck..."

So after another chorus of wailing and bemoaning, Vaati decided he would simply have to steal a red potion from the castle infirmary when he emerged from this pit, and then spend a couple of hours in the bathroom primping himself back to perfection. Vaati regained his resolve to go on. Besides, lingering down here and squandering time could potentially be quite hazardous. So after a few minutes of re-traversing the lower passages, the sorcerer came to the black portal that was passage to and from the hall.

"And there it is... My express ticket out of this hell..." Vaati entered the void.

Now it is a bit difficult to describe what exactly happens inside of these warp holes used throughout the Underworld for fast transportation, as the user of which is completely locked into a state of near unconsciousness as the teleportation takes place. Due to this, Vaati's brief journey through here shall not be dwelled upon further, and we'll skip to where he emerges into a secret room deep inside the castle dungeons.

"It's just one putrid place after another, isn't it...?" Vaati stuck his tongue out as he exited the chamber containing the portal and walked out onto one of the dungeon levels; a series of platforms containing uniform sets of bars. Distastefully looking around at the filthy, rusting cells, and filthy, rusting prisoners caged in them, he muttered, "I have always hated these perfectly grossing halls... Ugh..." He was forced into holding his nose - thankfully the bleeding had stopped at this point - to avoid inhaling the disgusting scent of stale blood of and decaying feces.

"I don't see why The Master's study must be linked to these desolate passages," he said annoyed, glaring about him at the moaning and miserable prisoners, "I know in _my_ castle, we have individual rooms for our prisoners - so they don't catch all the disgusting diseases they are sure to get in these ugly prisons... After all, it is so much more satisfying to watch healthy, _clean _prisoners suffer than these filthy monkeys... Keeps them fresh that way, and you can perserve the feeling of a new victim for a _longggg_ time... But you may as well use animals instead if you're going to treat them like this! I-" he suddenly heard a faint _plip _echo throughout the hall eerily as his shoe landed in a puddle of something wet and certainly liquid.

_Plip!_

"Hm?" He released hold of his nostrils, and looked below him, casting his eyes on a great puddle of fresh, warm red blood; streaming from the bottom of a nearby doorway - the torture chambers - in a deliberate line, taking a path layed out by some hollowed stone cut into the floor. Perhaps it was to show the other prisoners what they were in for when they were called upon for punishment for their crimes.

Vaati licked his lips slowly and widened his eyes as the fluid swirled around and around beneath him about his sandals and feet, getting deeper as more red poured into what was becoming nearly a _vat_ right before his very eyes.

"Blood..." he noted in a deathly whisper, tonguing his canine teeth as he pondered his situation. The puddle was very deep now from being fed by the steady supply oncoming from the tortured deeper inside the dungeons.

_Maybe I could spare a moment... I won't be in too long... and I'll just watch rather than participate... I-_

But then The Master's head screaming his enraged spiel to him popped into his mind and nipped his thoughts in the bud before they came to fruition. Vaati shook his head sadly.

_No... If I'll have to go and that old man Demise if I want to keep the Master's anger in check... I had better go on..._

So leaving behind the torture chambers and the opportunity for some sick fun, Vaati walked along through the chamber, keeping himself at least semi-entertained by comparing and contrasting his various ideas of proper treatment for captives with those apparent of his master and overseers; every once in awhile or stopping to glare at a Darknut who dared brush past him when he came into its assigned patrol path:

"Hey!" he yelled indignantly as he was knocked to the side by a particularly brisk Darknut in white armor. Vaati shook his fist at the monster after he'd recovered himself. "You fool! How _dare_ you disregard my authority as a powerful and zealous practitioner of this castle!" The Darknut didn't even bother to respond.

"Huh!" Vaati scoffed. "You think I won't remember you when I get back to where I have connections, but I will! Oh, I will! You'll be sorry, you'll see you lousy idiot! You'll be-" Vaati froze as he suddenly felt a clammy 'thing' grab hold of his ankle. His eyes widened at the startlingly cold touch. "Eh!"

"Please... sir... Water please... sir..." Vaati looked down bewilderedly to find that from inside one of the dungeon cells, some young female creature - human he guessed from her appearance - had reached out and grabbed his hold of his leg. "Please... water..." she repeated, shaking slightly. It appeared that the simply activity of talking pained her, as she immediately after started coughing hoarsely.

Vaati narrowed his eyes, took his hand, and quickly pulled his leg away from the grasp of the girl without a second thought - it was no contest as she hadn't had much of a hold in the first place. He then gave a steely glare and told her coldly, "What do I look like to you? Some little baby's wet nurse? Well here's a news flash prisoner: I'm not!" The girl just looked bewilderedly at him. Maybe she was actually surprised he was responding to her at all.

"What are you gawking at, fool?!" Vaati snapped. "You don't even deserve to look upon me! Also, why, pray tell, are you crying to me of all people, when, as you're I believe you were at least _once_ somebody of the human race, I - being the ever-vigilant ruler of the Skyworld - am quite likely the one who exposed you for your crimes anyway? So would you kindly not touch me again, and we'll go back to our lives as normal. Fine with you? Good. Ta-ta." Vaati turned, capped his nose again snootily, and trotted off, leaving the miserable prisoner girl moaning behind him.

* * *

It took more walking time, and even more trying-to-find-his-way-around time, but eventually, Vaati came up and out from the stagnant and gruesome dungeons out into the more refined living areas of the castle.

"Oh... finally I can breath normally!" He exclaimed, picking up a solid gold candelabra seated on the shelf of a china cabinet beside him - breathing in the scented fumes. "Mm... Roses..." he put the object back down. "Phew... though even this isn't quite the refreshing breeze of the Skyworld... Oh well, I'll be out of this place within a fortnight at the most. Now, to get that potion for my face..."

Vaati walked briskly and importantly along through the many chambers and halls of The Master's huge castle, sparing nary a glance to the obviously lower-caste guards that marched around him surveying the area for the threat their captains had promised on the day they signed up they would encounter. Some had been looking for that threat for twenty odd years; he still hasn't shown up. But Vaati doesn't care about what they're doing, as right now, he's come to the corner in the palace's eastern wing where the medical services were conducted. For castle officials of course, Vaati would never in his life go to the common infirmary where the regular guards went for medicine; he was better than that.

Now if Vaati were anybody else, he simply could have walked up to any doctor or nurse, explained his sorry plight, and inquired about a red potion in order to heal his injuries. Easy. But as he wasn't anybody else, and instead our lovable self-righteous Vaati, he was often denied service by just about... everyone... As he had done something to pretty much everyone to make them hate him. So the only way he was going to obtain medicine was to steal it, and that took precision, smarts, and a very low threshold for morality; all traits Vaati proudly possessed.

So he creeped along into one of the all white tiled medical chambers, easily bypassing two nurses chatting behind a counter and an old, half-dead Moblin snoring loudly in a wheelchair by a window.

_Almost to the supply closet..._ Vaati thought to himself as he slipped down a narrow hall on the far side of the office and slithered onward. It didn't take long to identify the supply closet, as it had a big wooden plaque stating Supply Closet on it. Go figure. He was inches from his coveted mixture behind that wooden door before him now. Just a little more and...

_Ha! Got it!_ Vaati thought triumphantly as gripped the bottle tightly in his hand and silently shut the door to the closet in order to keep his presence secret. _Now it's all simply a matter of- NO!_

When Vaati creeped in a creepy creeping fashion that only a creep like he could, back to the main room, what his eyes lay sight of made him recoil in horror; his worst enemy - except of course, for that green skirted-little putz, but he only saw him once a century or so - stood but a few feet in front of him; talking intently with whom he assumed was a doctor.

_Why is she here?!_ he thought angrily and tightened his grip on his bottle. _I_ _can't let that witch see me all bruised and un-beautiful! And especially not when I'm right in the middle of a theft! _His mind raced as he wondered what to do: How could he get out of here, with his potion, without getting spotted?

_Maybe I could... no... Maybe... no... Well perhaps... no... Grr... well I can't stay here until she's gone either; she'll sense me within moments! ...Urgh... but I can't come up with anything else... Well... they do say the best defense is a good offense... _He crawled a bit forward.

_Oh wait... that might have been the other way around..._

Anyway, Vaati decided much to his dismay, that confronting his enemy despite his... er... 'condition' as he called it, would be immaculately better than getting caught red-handed in the act of stealing. So he did it.

"Just decided to borrow a red-potion... that's okay, right?" Vaati walked out from the shadows and held up the potion with a charming smile, but that contorted to a glare as the liquid was snatched away from him by an angry nurse. "...Huh... where's that Hypocritical Oath of yours now...?" he sneered.

"I believe you mean Hippocratic Oath," said a voice behind him.

_Of course you had to correct me... _Vaati thought as he inwardly rolled his eyes. But outside, he held quite an agreeable demeanor. "Hm? Who's ther- oh! Veran!" Vaati gasped theatrically and put on a fake smile; Veran did likewise. "What a wonderful surprise to see you! How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm plodding along," Veran replied tucking a loose strand of something resembling hair behind one of her ears, "but what about you? I notice you may have been in some sort of scuffle or something?" She gestured to the bruises on his face.

Vaati was about to reply and tell her about his embarrassing mishap, but then realized that he told Veran this, the sorceress would never let him live it down; it would become a constant joke for her to abuse in order to embarrass him whenever he was unfortunate enough to come into her company. So he made up a quick alibi to cover for himself:

"Well, funny you should ask that Veran, because that's exactly what happened! You see, I was fighting this large demon in the arena for my... you know... daily dose of training..." Vaati discreetly made a quick showing of the nonexistent muscle on his right arm before continuing, "Well, this demon - being one of those stubborn poisonous death-dragon types - gave me a bit of a run for my money... you know?" He adjusted his cap proudly after finishing his brief 'recap'.

"I see..." Veran said, studying him. "You must be quite the prodigy with the blade then, hm? Because, after all, you must have slain the beast with a sword as you can't use any magic out here in capital. I must say, how commendable!" Veran's compliments always had a distinct taste of venom to them, which made Vaati more than slightly uneasy. She had once talked him into getting himself blind drunk, getting on the ledge of one of the city's tallest buildings, and- well, that's not important... But he still replied with good confidence, Veran would have to leave him be eventually, right?

"Well... I wouldn't want to brag or anything but-"

"You know what?" Veran declared, snapping the bony fingers of one of her long, snaky hands, a sick smile playing across her scaly face, "since you're obviously such a strong, powerful swordsman," she slithered behind Vaati with silent speed, gripping his shoulders tightly with a firmness unmatched, squeezing them hard and making him sweat. She lowered her mouth to his ear and said in a deathly quiet whisper, "then you _must_ demonstrate your power to me... A match... yes... That's a _brilliant_ idea... I'd love to see how you'd fare in battle..."

_Huh! Sure you would... if my death is the end result..._

"Well... I'm not quite sure I can right now..." Vaati mopped his forehead - just being around Veran made him feel so uncomfortable.

"A battle between you and another capable swordsman would be such a _treat_ to see..." Veran continued, still squeezing him tightly. "Why... it would be such an epic clash! You'll have to show me your skills!"

_Not doing it witch; not about to get ripped apart for your entertainment! So would you leave me alone!_

"Though I really can't now Veran... I-"

"Of course, it's not like I expect you to be _injured_ or anything of the sort..." Veran reassured, as if answering his thoughts. She laughed lightly. "After all, if you've slew a dragon demon; you must be such a brilliant warrior that I'm certain a simple spar with my partner General Onox wouldn't be a problem at all... hm?" Vaati couldn't see her expression; but he was certain Veran then smiled maliciously.

"W-well... as I said, I'm not sure I can commit to a battle date just now Veran..." He slowly maneuvered out of her clutch, and turned to face her. "I'm on a mission from the Master you see, and can't possibly hang around while you acquire Onox's whereabouts and-"

"Oh but Onox is right here in the castle with me!" Veran exclaimed.

_I was afraid of that..._

"Still I-"

"So we can have the match right at this moment! Onox is always welcome to a challenge!"

_Huh... Some challenge it'd be - Onox would squash me flat and you know it..._

"Look, Veran... I just can't at this moment due to-"

"Oh, don't be intimidated Vaati! He isn't that powerful!"

"I-It's not about being intimated Veran; it's simply because I'm much too busy to-"

"You're not trying to get out of it because you believe you're too weak, are you? I find low self-esteem so passé..."

"It's not a matter of being afraid either!" Vaati told her. "I just-"

"Then there's no problem! I'll inform Onox right away! Goodbye!"

"W-Wait Veran! Don't leave so rashly! I-"

But Veran's departure was inevitable. No matter what Vaati did she wouldn't have stayed to hear him voice his protests about the proposed battle between Onox and he. So snapping her scaly fingers and doing a quick snarky wave, she disappeared immediately in a puff of smoke.

"Can't... Blast... this day isn't going well at all..." Vaati kicked the floor angrily as he was left alone in the room; with the exception of the sleeping Moblin of course, but what weight did he hold?

* * *

_Author Note: Veran is definitely cold-blooded. Reviews are deeply beloved!_


	3. General Onox

_Author's note: This chapter is about a thousand words below my standard... But I felt the ending was a sensible cliffhanger, so I left at that point. Oops! Spoiler! (Covers mouth)_

_Anyway, thanks to Swordspiritfi96, XxForbidxmyxFantasiesxX, and an anonymous reviewer entitled 'thisplaceilove' for their reviews! I love you guys! Hug?_

_ Well, I don't blame you I guess... That was probably creepy coming from a guy, wasn't it? All well, I'll quit babbling and get on with the chapter!_

_3/24/13 EDIT: I already edited the first two chapters; so I may as well do this one as well._

* * *

**Chapter 3: General Onox**

* * *

"Stupid Veran..." Vaati muttered odiously as he pulled on his chain mail, squirming uncomfortably as the cold metal snaked around his skin, making him feel as if the witch herself was clinging on to him. "Ugh..." he adjusted the armor until it was somewhat less uncomfortable. Breathing heavy, he moved on to the next name on mental list: "Stupid Onox..." he strapped his chest plate to his abdomen, frowning as it hung limply. "Stupid chest plate..." he yanked off the iron slate and strapped it this time to its proper spot against his chest. He then pulled on his boots and other equipment as he attempted to come up with some other names to curse: "Stupid Moblins... Stupid Keese... Stupid Iron Knuckles... Stupid Maste-" he bit down on his tongue quite quickly at this point, stopping himself from speaking of that 'sensitive' subject. He preferred his tongue in his mouth rather than in a jar on The Master's shelf. "I really need to stop doing that..." Vaati noted as his swollen tongue trickled blood down his throat.

The magician looked around the armory he stood in for a place to check himself - some sort of mirror - but found none. He saw across the small wood and stone room a pile of old crates stacked in the corner collecting dust. He toddled over to it and rummaged through it until he came up with a large piece of shattered glass. "This'll do I suppose."

He studied his figure with much disdain: "I look incredibly stupid..." he jiggled about in his armor, feeling much too small for it. "Sigh... How idiotic I appear..."

"I think you look rather nice... actually..." came a small voice from the opposite side of the room.

"Eh?" Vaati turned round startled to find a short, elvish female staring at him from the shadows with large black eyes. Her white hair was inhumanly luminous and cast an erie low light around her. "Oh... Iribell... it's just you..." Vaati said relieved turned back toward the makeshift mirror. "I thought it might have been that awful Veran for one terrible moment."

"No sir, just me."

"Mm..."

Vaati could see in the reflection his mirror displayed that the elf was still staring at him. "Is there something wrong, Iribell?"

"N-No sir..." Iribell replied shakily, quickly changing where she threw her gaze.

"Better," Vaati said with a smirk. He then began to twist his helmet around on his head as he searched for a comfortable position for it. "By the way, how are things for you? Good?"

"V-Very," Iribell replied. "Now that you're here..." she added very softly. Vaati slyly caught this extra line despite its quiet tone, as one of the few beneficial Piccori traits he kept after his transformation were his powerful ears. He couldn't help but snicker to himself, as he knew full-well that the little thing had such a crush on him.

_Not that I can blame her; after all, who could resist such a charming, handsome, and so refined individual as myself?_

"S-Sir?" Iribell began a bit uncertainly.

"Yes, Iribell?" Vaati asked charismatically, with a dramatic flip of his hair.

"Your nose is running..."

"What? AGH!" Vaati attempted to shove his hand into his cloak pocket to draw out his handkerchief, but then remembered that he had all that armor over it! So he scrambled about the room for a good two minutes looking for a cloth before finally settling for a nearby seat cushion. He sniffed and shook his head. "I really hope Veran is the next person to sit there... Also, you didn't see that."

"Whatever you say sir." Iribell replied monotonously.

Vaati studied the clock on the wall impatiently. "...I wonder when they're going to start this fiasco anyway... I'm on a schedule and would like to have my behind whooped as soon as possible..."

Just then, the resounding blast of ceremonial trumpets filled the ears of both persons. Though this blast was not the kind either expected, being quite off-key, and made Vaati cover his ears. "Goodness! What the hades are they doing out there?! It sounds as if they gave the horns to seals!"

"Those are your squires playing the horns... sir..." Iribell explained. "General Onox's explained to me that he hadn't any on hand. I assumed you wouldn't mind..."

"Ah..." Vaati chewed his lower lip and touched his finger to his chin a few times as he contemplated. "Well then... carry on I guess... But by tomorrow morning they had all better be dead or dying..."

"As you wish sir... If you are willing... I'll commission the execution directly after your duel..."

"Fine, fine... Whatever..."

Iribell bowed and went to take her place among the stands; her presence important, what with being her master's secretary.

Vaati turned and walked toward the eastern end of the room, where a large metal grate stood blocking his way out into the arena. He could see through the holes the awful, fat little squires in the torchlit stands playing the trumpets to announce the match's beginning. "Iribell..." he said.

Iribell stopped next to the door, turning. "Yes, sir?"

"Check my medical insurance please."

"You have none."

"Figures."

The grate opened, and Vaati stepped into the great arena.

_ Every time I come here I'm astounded by the scale of this place..._

The walls were of solid gold, and full of writings in many types of runes that told the stories of the many epic battles held there. The battlefield itself was more than a hundred meters in length, its floor made of rough stone, scuffed everywhere from hundreds of thousands of battles. The stands, while nearly empty except for a select few individuals, were still majestic looking in the twilight. Through the exposed roof of the ring, the eternal red sun that looked down apathetically on the Underworld glowered upon the place.

"Well, at least I can crushed in a pretty place," Vaati sighed as the grate opposite him opened. Out of the dark stepped a large, beastly looking man, wearing a set of intricately designed bronze armor over his body. His face was concealed by the visor of his helmet, and he wielded a large iron ball and chain. Vaati looked toward his own flimsy raipier sheathed at side nervously.

_ What did he bring his ball and chain for? You can't use that in a duel!_

"The two competitors: Exalted General Onox; and the Wind Mage Vaati!" A squire exclaimed. "Battle: Deathmatch."

"Woah, woah, woah!" Vaati shook his head at the squire. "Deathmatch? I'm not here for a deathmatch! This is supposed to a simple duel! You know, the gentleman's style? Ten paces? Organization? Three Hundred Second rule?"

"I'm afraid you are most mistaken." Another squire replied with a squeaky voice. "This parchment declares the agreed upon ruleset was deathmatch. Your signature sir, is right here." The squire pointed out a line at the paper's bottom where Vaati's signature sat.

"WHAT?! I NEVER SIGNED ANYTHING!" Vaati shouted angrily.

"Do you wish to surrender sir?"

"Aren't you supposed to my squire?!"

"I still must obey the basic rules of honorable combat conduct sir."

"That's trash!"

"Do you wish to surrender?"

Vaati narrowed his eyes at the squire angrily and grit his teeth.

_...Do I?_

"...No..." he said slowly.

"Very good." The squire then began to talk of boring things Vaati didn't bother to listen to.

_ Wonderful. Here I can be killed by Onox, then resurrected by some foolish human a few centuries from now, and then be killed again much more slowly by The Master for 'neglecting' the mission he assigned me. Well this day just keeps getting better and better._

"Nice to see you again Onox," Vaati said with a polite bow, just as if the previous scene hadn't occurred.

Onox said nothing; he just began to swing his ball and chain above his head menacingly.

_Heathen... That's why he brought the ball and chain in here... It must be some sort of petty plot on Veran's part..._

"Are the parties assembled ready to begin?" boomed the head squire. Vaati thought he would have looked and sounded a good deal more authoritative if he hadn't been wearing those ridiculous tights.

_What an idiot..._

"Yes," both he and Onox stated in unison.

"Then let the battle commence upon a count down of three! May any who should cower sleep a thousand years in prison before resurrection!"

_ Yup, you're definitely being executed... My only regret is that I won't be here to watch as your head rolls..._

"Three!"

_ This is stupidest thing I've ever done..._

"Two!"

_ I could still back out... Why should I care if Veran and Onox blab out my cowardice to all their disgusting friends? It's not my problem..._

"One!"

_ Oh, who am I kidding? Veran would never let me live it down if I ran out now! Sigh... goodbye world..._

"Begin!"

Onox was the first to attack, immediately flinging his iron ball clear across the arena. The weapon flew fast despite its heavy weight, and jagged silver spikes that poked out at every inch of it glistened menacingly in the torchlight.

"Gah!" Vaati leaped to the side to avoid becoming smashed, yanking his blade out of its sheath directly after. He held it in what was the proper fashion for a duel, though he was uncertain if it was entirely correct for this type of fight. It probably wasn't, as Onox laughed coldly as he launched his ball again.

Vaati dodged, though only barely this time. He quickly sprinted for the far corner of the stadium, where he could regroup and plan. His steel boots clanked heavily on the rough stone and weighed him down. This style of fighting was not his forte at all, and the armor only made it worse.

_ It's not like it'll protect me from that iron ball anyway in the event that I'm injured... So..._

Vaati quickly tore his helmet off his head and dropped it beside him. He did the same with his chest plate, and gauntlets. The chain mail was to much of a bother to remove at that point, and the boots he wanted.

"Ha!" Rocky laughter filled the arena once again as Onox approached in a slow meander. "Giving up already are you, Vaati? Even I thought you were less of a pushover than this!"

"You wish! Ogre!" Vaati snarled as he slid one of his leg guards off and darted for Onox's exposed throat with newfound speed, his sword held in hand as an assassin held a dagger. Though Onox simply slapped him away with a gauntleted hand as soon as he got close enough. Vaati flew to the side.

"Ha! I'll bet you that was quite painful!" Onox laughed a third time.

"Agh!" Vaati gingerly touched his bleeding cheek with his hand - appalled and scared alike at the amount of the blood the general had just spilled with one simple blow.

"Idiot!" Onox kicked Vaat in the ribs, tossing him aside like a rag doll. He drew his own sword, prepared to deal the final blow. "This was the easiest match I've had in years! See you in a few centuries my friend!"

_No! I... need... to live!_

Using the little strength that remained in him, Vaati rolled himself to the side, Onox's blade pierced the stone just inches from his chest.

"Rargh!" Onox unearthed a pile of stones as he pulled his sword from the dirt. "I won't miss again."

"Whatever you say Onox," Vaati leapt to his feet, his sword held limply now. "Just remember to prep the hearse!" He lunged for the general, slashing at chink between his neck and body.

It wasn't enough. Onox punched Vaati in the face and sent him sprawling.

_No..._

"Ghahaha!" Onox cackled and placed his boot on Vaati's back. "Die, dog!" He lifted up his blade, and-

"VAATI!" Boomed a powerful voice; a voice Vaati knew quite well. It was the voice of The Master. "WHAT IN HELL'S NAME ARE DOING _IN THE ARENA_?!"

"M-Master!" Vaati could just make out his figure in the stands through the blood in his eyes. He attempted to rise. He coughed up a glob of fluid as Onox pressed harder on his ribs to keep him down.

"Onox! Off of him!" The Master commanded. "Lest he be killed!"

"Yes... sir..." Onox said reluctantly. He began to lift up his boot, but paused. He couldn't resist taking just one more jab at Vaati's bones.

"ONOX, NO!" Vaati screamed.

Unfortunately, this quick blow was the pack that broke the camel's back, and Vaati felt searing pain as one of his ribs snapped toward his vitals. His own piercing screech was the last thing he remembered before blacking out.

* * *

_Author note: If anybody went "AGH! OC!" when Iribell was introduced, we must have been separated at birth! Because I ALWAYS do that when I see an Original Character. Don't worry though, she's as minor as it gets; I just needed someone for Vaati to talk to in the armory - someone he didn't despise. We all know that's a VERY brief list._


	4. Lord Demise

_Author Note: Yo. How's it going? big thanks to thisplaceilove for being a dear and reviewing the last chapter. Unfortunately for me, she was the only reviewer. By the way, doEd anybody's Ellen's here hate autocorrect? I know I do... It's so stinking stupid that all my 'rediculous's turn into 'Lincolin's!_

* * *

**Chapter 4: Lord Demise and Lord Ghirahim**

* * *

_"Fool... Don't you realize you've destroyed your own livelihood as well as mine?! Your destruction of the Mirror will cause your own death to be nearly as prompt!"_

_"Find someone who cares, Vaati! I had nothing here to start with! Nothing! What am I really losing here?! Huh?! You tell me!"_

_"A chance to kill the hero for a start... I didn't think even you could be such a true idiot as to squander a chance to end him and be... well, real..."_

_"I AM REAL VAATI!"_

_Vaati!_

_Vaati!_

_Vaati..._

_...Vaati..._

* * *

"Vaati? Vaati! Vaati, rise! Rise immediately! I command you to rise!"

"Uh...?" Vaati came to as the sound of a voice calling out to him filled his ears. It sounded distant, and somewhat echoey at first, as if was coming from the other the end of a long tube or tunnel of some sort.

"Vaati!" Steadily the voice became clearer as his name was repeated again, and began to sound much closer. The magician opened his eyes slowly, blinking in pain at the bright light glaring from a lamp above his head. He shrouded his face with his hand and groaned. "Ugh... Light!"

"Vaati, look at me. Now."

"Huh?" Vaati uncovered his eyes, and after letting his eyes adjust to his surroundings he saw before him the familiar form of-

"AGH! MASTER!" Vaati's eyes opened quite wide now as he was confronted with The Master, who stood leaning over him; his long, pointed Gerudo nose poked down like an alligator's snout, and his narrow, hard black eyes leered at him, resembling those of a vulture. "W-What are you doing here?!" Vaati pulled the covers conveniently spread over him above his nose rather nervously; he retained pretty much all memories of his brawl with General Onox, and quickly realized that now that he was conscious, The Master may very well 'give it to him' for neglecting his assignment and heading instead to the arena.

"The reason I am here is because I'm waking you up," The Master replied cooly, crossing his muscular arms, and standing straight, "I was told you were babbling and screeching about something in your sleep. Besides, it's high time you were back on your own two feet anyway, you been out on that bed there for four days."

"Was I?" Vaati asked, eyes wide with feigned surprise. He didn't really much care how long he had been sleeping, as long as he was able to slink out of here without punishment from The Master for his mishap with the fetch quest. "Hmm... yes well, doesn't matter anyway I suppose; I have to get started on that assignment you set for me," Vaati sat up, "such laziness on my part - lying here like this!" He clicked his tongue chidingly at himself. "By the way, whatever you've done for me after that brutish match with Onox seems to have worked; I feel quite dandy." Not bothering to address an undisclosed pain by his ribcage, Vaati hopped out of bed. He noticed that he was bare-headed, and wearing a standard white hospital tunic instead of the cloak he last had on. He regarded the new garment with much disdain.

"Ugh; how putrid... and after Labor Day too..."

"Vaati... do not depart quite yet," The Master calmly strode across the white tile to the door of the little hospital room, shutting it calmly, but firmly too, as if to send the message that Vaati was not leaving until something - whatever that was - was dealt with. "May I inquire something of you?"

"M-Master," Vaati quickly interrupted, shaking with fear, "just let me explain! You see, I was simply on my way to gather Lord Demise - just as you commanded - when I encountered Veran, and she simply forced me into-"

"What are you babbling about?" The Master asked.

"Eh... What?"

"Why bring up Veran? What has she to do with anything?"

Vaati was confused. "B-But-"

"Vaati, this isn't about Veran," The Master interrupted, his hand still on the door, "or your match with Onox either if that's what you are getting at."

_Ending with a preposition again I see..._

The Master looked away for some reason. "For whatever reason your fight occurred, it is completely obsolete at this point."

"I-It is...?" Vaati asked.

"Yes. I have something of much more immediate importance for you now." The Master let his hand drop down from the door, and began to pace slightly as he explained. "According to my various informants, toward the border of our great country, in the southern city of Despero, the lord I appointed there is plotting some method of treachery - I expect the fool thinks that he could actually muster up some plan to kill me. Anyway, I want you to find him, and assassinate him immediately."

"...What?"

"Vaati, I'm going to get angry if you don't get on the ball..."

Vaati immediately snapped to attention, shaking his head vigorously in order to clear it. "Ahem, well the thing is, that I-I am quite flattered you wish to entrust me with such an important mission my lord, and pardon my boldness sir... but what about Lord Demise? Didn't you wish me to fetch him for you?"

"He has already been escorted," The Master replied. "So you're now free for this assignment."

Vaati was, to use a strange word nobody else uses, flabbergasted. "But sir! You previously stated I had spent but four days in the process of recovery! How could Lord Demise have been reached in Rehten within such a short expanse of time?"

"I sought him myself. With my magic, the time it took was but a few hours."

_WHAT?! Then why couldn't you have decided to do it yourself in the first place?!_

"I see..."

"Vaati, I expect you at my council table within about three hours from this moment. There we will discuss the content of your assignment more in depth. I had the best medical equipment and potions known to the world used on you in your injured condition, as such you should feel perfectly fine for work. And with that-"

"W-Wait Master!" Vaati interrupted.

"...Yes?"

"Pardon my asking... but... may I please so bold to ask just what you sought Lord Demise's council for?"

The Master stared at Vaati a moment, as if contemplating whether he should tell him or not. Finally, after what seemed a century at the least to the sorcerer, The Master took a deep breath, and said, "We were discussing... whether or not to begin warfare with the World of Light. As you and many others know, I have sought that world for many a century - but have not as of yet been able to keep part of my domain for any period longer than seven years..."

"Oh..." Vaati knew this was a bit of a sidestep on The Master's part, and wondered what the answer given him had to do with the letter he'd delivered, but he didn't dare voice another question at the time. "Well, thank you for sharing that with me sire," Vaati bowed deeply.

"Mm..." The Master sighed. "Anyway, I will say again I expect you at the council within the aforementioned time frame. Goodbye." He waved his hand, and dissipated - leaving Vaati alone.

"Everyone seems to be warping away but me..." Vaati pouted, crossing his skinny arms and biting his lip. "...Hey, now that I think about it, how did Veran warp like that when The Master has all magic blocked in the capital...? Oo! He's gonna whip her good when he hears she's wormed her way through his barrier! Hehehe... Can't wait for the council meeting!" He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "...But first things first - I had better get some decent clothing..." He himself strode on out of his little hospital room, not bothering to shut the door behind him.

_After all, what do they pay all those attendants for anyway?_

* * *

It didn't take long for Vaati to find a service desk where a nurse sat scribbling busily on a notepad, so absorbed in her work she didn't notice the magician at all.

_I wonder if I have to discharge myself before departing..._

"Excuse me, madam?" Vaati walked over to the counter.

"What?" The nurse asked curtly, (and grumpily,) looking up. She was unnaturally old and gray looking, so Vaati took the liberty of assuming that she must have been a Fury or something of the sort.

_Being a nurse is a rather strange profession for a Fury when you think about it..._

"Well, what do you want?" the Fury asked impatiently.

"Hm? Oh, a discharge."

"Please give us the name of the individual you wish to discharge. We shall commence a physical to check his condition."

"Well it's me. I'm feeling rather good, and feel safe to depart from this institu-"

"Please give us the name of the individual you wish to discharge. We shall commence a physical to check his condition."

"Did you not hear me, woman? I said that I'm the one who needs a discharge!"

"Please give us the name of the individual you wish to discharge. We shall commence a physical to check his condition."

I'M THE INDIVIDUAL!"

"Please give us the name of the individual you wish to discharge. We shall commence a physical to check his condition."

"ARE YOU SOME SORT OF ROBOT?! I SAID THAT I'M THE ONE WHO NEEDS-"

"Please give us the name of the individual you wish to discharge. We shall commence a physical to check his condition."

"ARGH!" Vaati screamed, slamming his fists on the countertop. "FINE! VAATI! IT'S VAATI! ARE YOU HAPPY?! THE NAME IS VAATI!"

"Vaati... Vaati..." The nurse plopped a large, thick, messy folder on the desk from who-knows-where. She began flipping absently through it. "Vaati... Vaati..." she repeated, searching for his name.

_This was way more trouble than it was worth... _This _is what you get for being considerate_...

"Vaati... Vaati..." the nurse continued, over and over, on and on as she attempted to find him on her huge list.

"Heavens... is there some plague going about?!" Vaati exclaimed. "That folder is filled to the brim!"

"Vaati... Vaati..."

_I hate people..._

"Vaati... Vaati..."

"That's it, I'm out of here woman; you can keep flipping through that damned binder until Hell freezes over for all I care." Vaati turned to leave, turning up his nose as he stalked out. He would have preferred the dramatic effect caused by leaving without looking back, but since nobody else was paying any attention, he decided it wouldn't hurt to steal one more glance back at the nurse and watch her shocked face as he walked out on her; though actually she was still searching through the folder, mumbling his name as if he hadn't left at all. He slapped his forehead and grumbled about how inferior everyone else was to him as he slammed the door to the infirmary.

* * *

"Alright, this is more like it," Vaati beamed proudly at himself in the full-body mirror that graced the west wall of his chambers. There he was, standing in front of the gold bordered glass, all done up in a fancy lavender tux that smelled of expensive soaps and exotic flowers, a shiny new black cloak over it. "Yup, I hardly ever bother to remember just what a handsome devil I am! Hands off, ladies!" His adoration of his own figure was interrupted as there was a knocking at the door. "Huh?"

Vaati walked across the red velvet carpet in a timely fashion, and opened the heavy wooden door to find a young soldier standing at the door. "Yes? What is it?"

"You have been summoned by The Master!" the soldier stated, slamming the butt of his spear on the ground in the proper tradition for when speaking to a lord. "He commands you appear before him in the council chamber immediately! He told me that he already beckoned you once but you ignored his calls!"

"What?! He wants me now?! The council's now?! I-I thought I had more time! I thought I could get ready! He said three whole hours! He said I-"

"Please, Master Vaati, go before The Master immediately! Before he becomes even more impatient!"

"Y-Yes! I shall!" Vaati took off down the hall, leaving his door open for perhaps the soldier to close.

_But The Master said three hours! It's been but half that time! How could I have misheard him?!_

Vaati ran and rushed to and fro across the castle grounds, passing through a courtyard, the grand hall, and the royal dining chamber (now that he thought about it, he was quite hungry), before coming to the council room nearby The Master's own quarters. He threw open the great doors without halting a moment, launching himself into his chair without hesitation. He sat there, breathing heavy a moment, feeling a horrible pain caused by a stitch in his side before gasping out, "Present..."

"Glad you could join us Vaati," a large, hulking demon adorned in a massive black robe said jokingly, his flaming hair flowing down his gargantuan shoulders like wet molten lava. Vaati half expected it to start dripping and burn up the mahogany table. The demon sat across from sorcerer, smoking the single biggest cigar he had ever seen.

"L-Lord Demise..." Vaati hacked out, sitting up as straight as he could manage. "How are you, sire?"

"Fine, fine," Demise replied, waving his hand dismissively as he puffed out a ring of smoke. "But you don't care about that. In my old age, it's not like my life is all that-"

"Father..." The Master, who sat in an imposing black throne of obsidian at the table's head, interrupted. "Should you really be talking so friendly with Vaati after his making us wait so long? Shouldn't he be, perhaps, berated for his trespass?"

Vaati opened his mouth to do a routine begging for mercy, but Demise beat him to speaking.

"Oh please, Ganondorf," Demise rolled his orange eyes, "it wasn't the boy's fault, it was that scourge Onox that put him laid up in the hospital. Anyway Vaati, I'm sure that you, you, my young sorcerer, you I believe, have an interesting story to tell the council before we get down to business! The story of your battle!"

"Do you really think it would be worth telling?" Vaati asked somewhat uncertainly, looking with narrowed eyes across the wooden table at the astonishing lack of people present; only three others besides he, Demise, and The Master were there. One was a white haired demon who went by Ghirahim; another had jet black hair that fell to his knees and was known as Malork; and the third was a rather unimposing green headed fellow with spectacles over his eyes - Vaati didn't recognize him. "...Speaking of the council..." Vaati asked Demise, "where is it? There are so few people present..."

"What? Don't we count - Princess?" Malork asked with a sneer.

"Just curious as to why we only decided to have the unintelligent savages sit with us today, Malork," Vaati shot back.

"'Unintelligent', huh? Such a big word for such a small girl."

"Call me anything feminine one more time, and I'll-"

"Shut your mouths, both of you." The Master commanded, standing up. "Before blood is spilled.

"If go for that," Ghirahim stated with a smirk. But it quickly turned to a sheepish look as The Master glared harshly at him. "I apologize..."

"Mm..." The Master sat back down. "Anyway, the reason we're gathered here this day is-"

"Allow me, Ganondorf," Demise broke in. The Master was obviously annoyed at this intrusion, but did nothing in response but sigh.

"Very well..."

"Thank you. Anyway, the reason why we're here is to further explain the details of an assignment my boy and your king has assigned to the sorcerer Vaati; we've gathered only a small group of trusted individuals here now because we didn't want any potential traitors hearing of this. This lord you're going to assassinate Vaati, Lord Daath, is an extremely powerful and clever individual. I suggest the utmost caution if you must engage him in battle - clear?"

"Father..." The Master broke in, "aren't you going just a little overboard with these details? After all-"

"What do you mean 'Overboard with the details'? I've hardly told the boy a thing! Besides, it's his assignment! He should know the details!"

"D-Don't worry, Lord Demise..." Vaati intercepted nervously, getting worried at the sparks that were flying between Demise and The Master. "I'll be quite fine I think with the information you have given me... I do know where Despero is located..."

"Nonetheless, this mission is extremely dangerous! As such, I have come to a conclusion: Ghirahim, my servant and sword shall accompany you on your assignment! He's been getting a bit stir crazy lately anyway."

"What?! You can't send me on an assignment with him! Please!" The white haired demon Vaati had noticed from earlier pointed a gloved finger horrifically at him. The magician - quite insulted - was about to retaliate with nice quip he thought was quite clever and devastating, but Demise beat him again to speaking: "You will go, Ghirahim; I have commanded it." He spoke in much lower and gravely tone than before.

"B-But Master, -"

"Do not question me!" Demise bellowed.

_Déjà vu..._

"You shall go Ghirahim! Do you understand?"

"Yes sir..." Ghirahim glared at Vaati as he sat down, fire in his eyes.

_Geez, it's not like I'm the one who commissioned him... What's his problem?!_

"Father, you can't be serious about this!" The Master stood up again. "What reason could you have for sending Ghirahim on this assignment?!"

"Sit, son," Demise commanded.

"Father..." The Master gritted his teeth. "Don't make this difficult..."

"Sire," Vaati began shakily, regarding Demise, "if Ghirahim doesn't wish to accompany me on my mission, and The Master doesn't want him to either, it is quite alright if-"

"No, Vaati," Demise was speaking in a deadly serious tone now, his eyes fixated unwaveringly on Vaati. The sorcerer suddenly felt the tension level in the room reach to even more astonishing levels. "Ghirahim shall go with you; and keep you out of harm's way; correct, Ghirahim?"

"O-Of course..." Ghirahim replied respectfully, but frowned afterward.

"Good. Then perhaps you should depart now."

"What? Now?!" Vaati spluttered in disbelief. "But we haven't even made any preparations! We- We-"

"Perhaps you should depart now," Demise repeated sternly - he looked angrily toward The Master.

"A-All right sire... If you're sure... Is that alright, Master?" Vaati asked.

"Yes..." The Master replied as he tongued his canine teeth and smirked at Demise; looking... hungry... "The sooner... the better I guess..."

* * *

_Author Note: Now we can really get the plot going here! Heh, heh, heh... Please review!_


	5. Lord Ghirahim

_Author Note: And here I am again; good and ready to bug you with another chapter of Blank! This was going to be out earlier, but I was pretty busy as I had read one of those chain posts in someone's profile, didn't put in my own, and as such I had to re-kill this ghost and all that..._

_But you didn't come here to hear about my exploits with the supernatural! So anyway, thanks to XxForbidxMyxFantasiesxX, CorynOfHoole, Fire-Shiell, thisplaceilove, SwordSpiritFi9, and an anonymous reviewer for their reviews! You guys are great!_

_ Anyway, here's chapter five!_

* * *

**Chapter 5: Lord Ghirahim**

* * *

_ Agh! Where is he? He said he'd meet me here in an hour at the _most_! It's been at least two! What the hell could he possibly be doing?!_

At about the hour of one post-noon, Vaati found himself reluctantly pacing back and forth restlessly along the stone steps of the frontal courtyard of The Master's castle - waiting for his beyond fashionably-late, colleague-to-be, Lord Ghirahim. Every so often the sorcerer would spare a short, precious moment from his repetitive trotting to glare either toward the palace itself, or the front gate that he so desperately wished to go from.

_ I want to get going _now_! If I can get this mission done fast I may be able to salvage The Master's favor..._

"Ghirahim!" Vaati shouted into the air, "Are you coming or what?!"

...Silence.

Silence answered the sorcerer's query - complete utter silence. Dead air. A vacuum. That Ghirahim was never on time for anything - no matter it was! The man had actually managed it to once be late for a ball held in his own home (don't ask). Time was a thing that the great Lord Ghirahim knew naught of.

Vaati began pacing again as he seethed and boiled in his own growing annoyance, his footsteps slowly becoming stomps; and his breaths growls. But after a moment or two, when finding that this activity of walking back and forth and glowering, was not at all remotely therapeutic for either his pre-mission jitters nor his anxiousness, he stopped doing this and decided to head on out a short way by himself.

_ He'll just have to catch up._

So Vaati lazily toddled along the stone walk of the palace, southward, to the gate. There, a patrolling guard lifted the black portcullis to allow him exit. The sorcerer sauntered off down the road, whistling the tune to The Ballad of the Goddess and thinking of the dirty lyrics he and his friends had come with one drunken party some time ago:

_Oh youth, guided by the-_

Vaati just couldn't bring himself to go on thinking of his little putrid rhymes without laughing oh-so hysterically.

"Ahaha! I do know how to craft a brilliant parody, don't I?" The sorcerer wiped a stray tear from his eye. Then, clearing his throat and taking on a serious demeanor, he put a finger to his chin and pondered what to do next, how far should he go before stopping to wait for Ghirahim?

"Mmm... I'll just go a short way - no sense in leaving him behind completely, as Lord Demise ordered me to take him... You know, maybe I'll take a look at how the castle has evolved in my years of absence from the Underworld while I wait, by studying it from afar... Yes, that's an educational idea!"

So he did. Vaati walked slowly down the castle road for about another two minutes before he stopped, and turned around to look at the palace.

He was _not_ pleased with the current set of outdoor decor.

"Oh... my..."

Now, as Vaati knew quite well, The Master was certainly not the sort of man whom one could classify at all as rather 'tasteful' - nor could one (safely) assign him a term such as 'warm'. But even somebody who held as little faith in The Master's good characteristics as Vaati, figured he at least would let a little bit of wildlife spruce up the outer parts of his dreary dwelling; even if it was because he was too apathetic toward the stuff to have it removed.

But this entire thought process was completely obliterated and tossed, limp and hurt, out the window by plain, cruel reality. There was nary a hedge nor flower nor tree nor even a stray leaf to be seen all along the hill which the castle stood upon; all the way from top to bottom it was bare of anything marginally nice. Just some dead grass and the occasional weed hung about the road that linked the castle and capital, that was all.

"What a perfectly horrifying thing..." Vaati stuck his tongue out as he gazed toward the very inhospitable looking palace. "Good gracious..." He had to hand it to The Master, the man went great lengths to make his castle as uninviting as it could possibly be - then again, he had to make up for having the lava moat drained. (Cities need room to grow.)

Vaati sighed, shook his head, and walked over to a big, lone, and rather grey rock sitting just aside the road a few feet off. When he came to it, he plopped down without hesitation. In order to forget the wretched castle sitting tauntingly behind him, and make the time he would now spend waiting even longer for Ghirahim to show go somewhat faster, he decided to make sure he had all the supplies he would need for his upcoming mission. He slung the suede blue satchel hanging from his side off his shoulder, crouched down, unzipped the top, and began sorting through the unorganized pack he had thrown together about two and a half hours previous. He had only taken an amazing fifteen minutes to prep himself, due to being frightened of incurring the wrath of The Master - who had been standing right beside him as he packed, giving a final briefing - by taking any longer.

"Okay, I've got my comb," Vaati noted happily as he pulled the purple object out, glad he'd remembered it,"just in case it gets windy. ...Oh! Perfect! I have my hair gel for that unfortunate occasion too. I have a toothbrush for obviously keeping my teeth clean with; I have-"

"Food? Water?" Said a saucy voice behind him. "You know - the actual essentials?"

Vaati paused just a second, so as to prepare an appropriate scowl. "Well, well, well!" the sorcerer gasped mockingly as he turned and stood up. "Look who decided to finally show himself!" He dusted himself off and added, "I'd almost given up on you actually."

"You're one to talk about lateness!" Ghirahim laughed as he placed his gloved hands on his hips, his red cape billowing just slightly in the little breezes that rippled about. "What with being an hour late and all for that meeting just a short while ago."

"Would you stop bringing that up!" Vaati growled, stamping his foot. "I'm telling you I-" the sorcerer stopped himself short here. He pursed his lips, and turned his head a few times to look around and see if anybody was possibly eavesdropping - they weren't that far away from the palace yet. But after hearing nor seeing anyone, he cautiously turned back to Ghirahim and whispered, "I wasn't late I'm telling you! The Master had given me the wrong time!"

"Oo!" Ghirahim chidingly clicked his tongue. "Talking down on Master Ganondorf while still in the boundaries of his capital! You naughty, naughty thing you!" The demon wagged a finger at Vaati playfully.

"Sshhh! Quiet you idiot!" Vaati hissed. "Someone's gonna hear you!"

"Not my problem!"

Vaati glared harshly, angry at his partner's flamboyance. "Look, can we just go?" He gestured down the road. "The sooner we're out of the city and its magic boundaries, the sooner we may teleport ourselves to Despero and properly prepare ourselves to engage-"

"Oh, whoopsie me!" Ghirahim slapped his own forehead merrily. "I completely forgot to tell you!" He shook his head at Vaati. "Sorry my devilish friend, but there will be no teleportation on this assignment!"

"Ah, what a jester you are." Vaati rolled his eyes, "but you'll have to come up with a more believable statement than that Ghirahim if you want to make a fool of me! Now, can we-"

"Excuse me?" Ghirahim asked with raised eyebrows. "Just what are you insinuating by that little crack? Are you saying that I'm being deceitful?"

"I'm saying that you'll need to act a tad more believable if you want to pull one over-"

Ghirahim suddenly reached out and grabbed Vaati by the chin with his right hand.

"H-Hey! What are you-"

"Just stand still a moment!" Ghirahim barked. He turned the sorcerer's head so that he was looking straight at him. "Observe," he said, narrowing his eyes and snapping his fingers. Now while the Demon Lord's signature diamond-like streaks of magic did pass through the air, they immediately shook, shimmered, and blurred before disappearing completely. If any magic at all was done, its life had been cut to a drastically short length. Ghirahim let go of Vaati. "There, see? It won't work."

"Oh, come on." Vaati laughed. "This is a pretty lousy trick, Ghirahim. Of course it won't work in the capital! We both know that The Master has his boundaries up! Now stop being so ridiculous!"

Ghirahim sighed and shrugged. "Well, whatever. If you must be such a thick head and won't take my word for it, you can try to cast a spell yourself once we're out of the city... Then you can see the lovely little leash that The Master's put upon you."

"Leash...?" Vaati looked skeptically toward the other demon, instinctively he felt round his own neck.

"Figure of speech - that's all Vaati."

"Oh would you knock it off with this dumb prank?! All you're doing is getting me annoyed!"

"Vaati, have you ever known little old me to lie?" Ghirahim asked, tilting his head and making himself look as innocent as a baby.

"Just through your teeth..." Vaati replied with a scowl; he knew couldn't be fooled by such basic ploys.

"Huh!" Ghirahim snootily turned up his nose. "Fine - just you wait until we exit the city and you find out just how right I am! I'm telling you Master Ganondorf gave me the nay-say for magic just moments ago. He said quite plainly that he would be putting seals on us for the time being. But since you're Vaati, and you're just ALWAYS right, I guess that conversation can be completely disregarded!"

"Don't be an ass..." Vaati growled. "Besides, your argument hasn't a ounce of logic in it! What would be the point to deny us of our magic? Without spells on this assignment, instead of a mere few days we could take a fortnight! Perhaps longer! Explain to me how, with that knowledge, The Master could have possibly, in his right mind, commanded such a thing?"

"Well, do you want to waltz back into that castle and demand from Master Ganondorf the reason why we've been told to leave magic behind us? Hm? If so, you be my guest." Ghirahim gestured to the the castle castle flauntingly. "In the meantime I can make up a gravestone. Which do you prefer; Rest in Peace? Or just R.I.P.?"

"Look, I don't understand!" Vaati gazed with contempt toward Ghirahim. "What could possess The Master to make him want us to take longer than need be? It's illogical! Peasants walk! Not lords, Ghirahim! ...Ghirahim?"

Ghirahim was currently distracted, looking back to the castle as its portcullis lifted up to allow an old farmer, who was bumbling about on a horse and buggy, to enter. Most likely the man was there to sell some vegetables to the kitchen servants or something. Though the Demon Lord was not looking at any sort of produce; instead he was looking toward the animal and cart being driven. "Now that I think about it, nobody said we couldn't _drive_ to Despero..."

"Why need we drive when we could just warp ther-"

"Vaati," Ghirahim interrupted tiredly, the whole sarcastic and flaunting tone he had been using dropped. "I'm quite sick of this infernal arguing of yours! Master Ganondorf has sealed our magic, and you know it!"

This statement that Vaati had known was coming - and knew to be true in the very back of his mind - took a moment to register as he racked his brain for any plausible reason why The Master need do it.

The sorcerer sighed deeply and hung his head defeatedly. He gritted his teeth. "The Master has really banned us from spell casting, hasn't he?"

"Finally he gets it." Ghirahim applauded as he turned to face Vaati again. "I know not why either... but then, orders are orders..."

"Huh, that's a slightly different tune than the one you were singing in the meeting hall!" Vaati noted as he haughtily put his hands on his hips. "You know, when you were doing everything in your power to squirm out going on this 'trip' with me..."

"Alright, alright." Ghirahim held up a hand. "Look, are we going to go into the city and buy a cart or what?"

Vaati contemplated this. He had ridden in carriages and things during periodic trips to the Overworld, and they were fairly comfortable. But in both his realm of the Skyworld, and down here in the Underworld, he'd always either teleported his person, or used the occasional more-so fashionable litter. "Are they quite the same as the ones in the Overworld...?" he asked curiously. "Because if they aren't, I think I'd rather walk..."

"I should think that they are," Ghirahim replied, "they do look the same."

Vaati sighed. "Well, fine then - if you're quite sure we can't just warp, I suppose we'll go into town and buy a buggy."

* * *

It was in the Underworld's capital of Dom - a city of industry and a not-so-surprising lack of trees - that Vaati and Ghirahim now found themselves; combing the cobblestone-paved streets of neighborhood after neighborhood, looking for any sort of carriage dealership - if such a thing existed.

What's with all these people bustling about in this place?!" Vaati griped as he and Ghirahim shoved through the large crowds, searching for someone that would at least let them _rent_ a cab and horse. "I'm being much more jostled than a lord of my status should!"

"Well, those are the breaks of being about two feet shorter than the rest of the world!" Ghirahim laughed as he patted Vaati's head mockingly. The sorcerer responded by promptly and indignantly jamming his elbow into the other demon's side.

Well, at least he attempted to do - but as there was such a huge gaggle of people pushing him around, his shot misfired and banged the side of some random poor individual instead. The man had been rather big, but thankfully for Vaati, he knew not it was the sorcerer that caused his sudden suffering, he was safe from any physical infliction brought about on his part.

"I won't miss next time," Vaati told Ghirahim through gritted teeth as soon as the threat of retaliation from his victim had passed, "so just remember that I am five feet, six inches!"

Ghirahim just laughed at Vaati's spontaneous need to clarify his height. "Hah! Whatever you say!"

"Grr..." Vaati scowled at his colleague before turning his attention back to road before him.

* * *

"Ahh! How is anyone to find anything in this blasted city?!" Vaati exclaimed as he was rather rudely pushed aside by some hulking fellow with a mullet - apparently the man was in some sort of rush. "And geez, what was that guy's proble-"

Not at all surprisingly, just then four city guards armed to the teeth with miscellaneous sharp metal objects rounded the corner and also pushed Vaati aside - this time into a pile of flour bags. They ran after the man whom set their precedent for reasons the sorcerer probably guessed were better undisclosed.

"Oh..." Vaati spit some flour out his mouth and got to his feet. Dusting himself off, he griped, "This is ridiculous Ghirahim! You come here looking for something as simple as a carriage, and all you get is to be pushed around by people and mixed in crime affairs! We may as well have walked! We could've been in Dred by now! I mean, damn it, I'd pay double whatever price they're asking for a carriage if I could just find one for sale!"

"Oh, don't be such a grumpy-puss!" Ghirahim, who had bought just about everything from various stores that wasn't a carriage, bit into a muffin he'd gotten from a nearby stand as he chided Vaati. The demon amused himself by twirling the plastic bag the new blue cape he'd purchased was packaged in. "This is such fun you know! It's so wonderful, spending quality time together like this! I'm actually reluctant to start the mission!"

"I just got pushed into a pile of flour - do you not care?!"

"Hm?" Ghirahim asked absently, he was currently eyeing a lovely man-purse in the display window of a nearby boutique.

"Are you even listening?!"

"Yes, that's nice dear. Hey, I think that bag would go just divinely with my new cape, don't you?"

"AGGGHHHH!" Vaati wadded up the front of his tunic and screamed loudly into it.

"Are you alright Vaati?" Ghirahim asked as he turned back to look at the sorcerer.

Vaati breathed deeply, and began to walk again, Ghirahim followed. "You know, I actually liked you better back at the meeting," Vaati stated, "when you just glared and said you didn't want to go with me..."

"Well, I was upset at being saddled with this assignment," Ghirahim explained, keeping his eye locked on the purse he'd longed for until it was completely out of sight. "I had plans this weekend you know."

"The usual painful body-altering surgery?" Vaati asked with a not-so hidden edge.

"It was a ball you prissy little twit..."

"Ah, a ball! Or course!" Vaati smirked as they continued to trot along. "Well, if it was that one that Brella is holding, you'd have to admit I was quite close!" The sorcerer chuckled meanly. "Am I the only one to notice suicide rates go way up when she's planning a party?"

"It wasn't Brella," Ghirahim rolled his eyes. "You really believe I would be present at one of her parties? The only people who go to her celebrations are those idiots in her 'clique' or whatever, and those that she bribes or blackmails. No, I was going to Malork's party. He's hosting it for his daughter. He said in passing to me that it was high time for a son-in-law to be admitted to his family."

"A cotillion?" Vaati asked with raised eyebrows, surprised such a formal event had managed to escape his attention. "Is it going to be big?"

"I'm not certain; but with such a rich man as Malork, and such an immaculate party planner as his wife Drean, well, I rather think I would be... He'll also be trying to impress Master Ganondorf, so there's another reason for him to go all out on the thing."

"The Master is going to be present?" Vaati asked with eyes wide.

"Yes, Malork always invites Master Ganondorf!"

"Well, most of the lords do - but it's not like The Master ever goes to their balls..." He frowned as he remembered all the times The Master had declined invites to his own parties.

Ghirahim shrugged his shoulders. "Don't ask me why he's going to this particular one; as I have no idea. Maybe Malork's invitation just caught him in the right mood."

"Hmm..." Suddenly another question popped into Vaati's head. "Hey, is the daughter Malork will be presenting at the ball Florna? I can't remember if he has any others at that debutante age..."

"Yes, it's Florna," Ghirahim replied. "His only other child is a son who is serving in Master Ganondorf's army currently; as far as I know he hasn't a particularly notable rank as of yet."

"Oh? Hm, I really thought he had more children than that... Hey, on an unrelated note, I noticed at the meeting that Malork was looking stubbly - has he decided to forsake his clean-shaven look?"

"Not that I know of..." Ghirahim scratched his head. "Possibly, why?"

"Oh, no reason..." Vaati grinned evilly.

"...You know, think I'll leave what's going on in that head of yours be so that I can't be called to witness during the trial..."

"Oh, har har..."

"Hey, what's your take on missing the cotillion Vaati?"

"Well, I'd say I'm rather disappointed at the fact... Florna is rather a pretty girl - and despite her ass of a father - she's very well-bred too... I thank her mother for that; a great woman. Ah, I'd love young Florna..." Vaati looked up at the red sky dreamily.

"Don't you have quite a few wives already?" Ghirahim asked, interrupting the sorcerer's daydreaming. He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Not as of late..." Vaati told him. "About seven years back I married very beautiful little thing named Riora - but she died due to some sickness I never figured out only a few months after our wedding... A great sadness, though I couldn't expect it to last; human marriages never do. I'd actually enjoy settling down for life with a lovely girl like Florna..."

"I... see..." Ghirahim, for some reason looked sadly toward Vaati. He bit his lower lip in a somewhat upset looking manner.

"...Why are you staring at me like that...?" Vaati asked, it being his turn to raise an eyebrow. "Is there something wrong?"

"Uh, no!" The Demon Lord quickly righted himself, clearing his throat. "No... It's just a sweet little speech you made there..." Ghirahim averted his gaze.

"Okay... Um, on a more interesting note, what about you? Do you have any families?"

"No..." Ghirahim replied, shaking his head. "Not for awhile... I haven't been married in about four hundred years now..."

"Thinking about it? You're not getting any younger you know."

"Well, I'm considering it a little... But then my honeymoons are always ruined by Master calling me out on an assignment!" Ghirahim scowled. "Did you know that one time, right in the middle of one of the most passionate nights I've ever experienced-"

"Wait! Hold that thought!" Vaati interrupted, gesturing across the street the two had just come onto excitedly. "Unless the gods play tricks on me, there! Look! It's a cab dealer!

* * *

_Author Note: Okay, so this chapter was rather uninteresting I know - what with it just being Vaati and Ghirahim gabbing on and on. In consolation, Dark/Shadow Link shall be present in the next chapter - so YAY!_

_Look, I know I dropped a lot of names in this chapter, and to assuage any fears, none of them will be of major importance. I have no intentions of flooding this story with Original Characters, trust me; it's just that I'm working in a realm that the canon series hasn't gone into much detail about (anyone here have some sway over where the next Zelda is going?), and have to go with my imagination for the majority of its inhabitants. So no fear of Vaati/Original Character, okay? THERE SHAN'T BE ANY ROMANCE IN THIS PARTICULAR FANFICTION._


End file.
